Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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