i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
