I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
