I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I have tasted many bathrooms
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
