so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
