Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
