I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
