Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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