haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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