apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
