when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
