Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
