She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
