I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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