were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
