i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
