Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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