drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
