I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
