Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
