K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
