Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
