it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
