I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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