i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Girls should come with a carfax report
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
