Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
