its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
