she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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