airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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