How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
