therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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