I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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