erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
