i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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