So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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