Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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