I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
