Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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