I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
