at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Your cock deserves a montage
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
