took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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