You're earring is so big in my mouth
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
third nipple confirmed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
