If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
