his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
