Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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