Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
