The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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