the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
