Me. At least after what I've been through.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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