I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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