My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I fill condoms, not promises.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
