Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
